My Journey To Sobriety
From Struggle to Strength
Before diving into my story, I want to acknowledge the personal nature of addiction and recovery. As a recovering alcoholic in my early 20s, I speak from my own experience, not as an authority figure. Each journey is unique, based on individual circumstances and motivations. What worked for me may not work for everyone, and I respect that everyone's path to sobriety is different.
The Beginning of the End
"Hi, I’m Erika, and I’m an alcoholic.” Those words echoed through the room on an early September morning in 2014. At just 23 years old, I found myself at my first AA meeting, clinging to the support of my sister and friend (I begged to come along, too scared to face it alone). Little did I know, that meeting would mark the beginning of the end.
Admitting my drinking was a problem wasn't easy. I couldn't even begin to tally up the embarrassing, ridiculous things I'd done while under the influence—like telling police officers I was born in 1954 or taking a face-plant and breaking my nose. Sure, it made for some good stories but, deep down, I knew I didn't want to be that person. So, I made a change—a difficult, tumultuous change, but one I was committed to because I had everything to gain.
It's important to share that my journey wasn't a straightforward path. I was diagnosed as an alcoholic when I was just 20 years old, but it took me three more years to finally find the strength to quit drinking. The road to sobriety was filled with challenges, doubts, and moments of questioning everything I knew about myself and those closest to me.
Finding out who my true friends were was an eye opening experience. I leaned heavily on them for support. I was hundreds of miles away from home and in a city where drinking was more than just a pastime. While most stood by me unconditionally, others did not. It wasn't easy. I thought those friendships were built on more than just Grain Belt Premium and Captain Morgan, but looking back, it was for the best.
I wish I could say sobriety didn't challenge my relationships, but I won't sugarcoat it. Everything changed because I changed, and how people treated me changed too. It's a transition that takes time to adjust to, and one that continues to impact my social life to this day. To learn more about how my relationships evolved, check out "Navigating Friendships Sober."
The Harsh Reality and Finding Motivation:
Being sober? It sucks. You feel like you're missing out on everything, like you're the odd one out in a world that revolves around White Claws and Tequila. It's like being the elephant in the room, standing there while everyone else is having a grand old time. Looking back, I’m realizing I’ve been more worried about what everyone else thinks of my sobriety than what I actually think about it. But you know what? I don't care. Despite the judgment, and feeling like I lost a part of myself, I can proudly say, I'm sober. And it's the best damn decision I ever made. So, fuck what anyone else thinks. I'm owning my sobriety, and I'm damn proud of it.
However, my motivation was much more external than internal. If it were up to me, I would never have quit drinking. Not because I didn’t want to, but because it’s a lot easier to disappoint myself than others. Because, really, who the hell wants to be sober at 23? NOT ME! But I came to realize it was the first step towards taking control of my life and finding true happiness.
Embracing the Journey and Starting a New Chapter:
Now, almost 10 years later, I'm standing here with an amazing husband, two incredible boys, a master's degree, and a career I'm proud of. And let me tell you, none of which would be possible with a drink in my hand. THAT was my motivation. Every day, I look at my life and I'm filled with gratitude—gratitude for the love that surrounds me, for the opportunities I've been given, and for the strength I found within myself to make a change. So yeah, being sober may suck, but it's the greatest gift I've ever given myself. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Even though I have the life I want, I still struggle with who I was then, who I am now, and allowing myself to be a mix of both. Starting a new chapter doesn't mean pretending my past never existed or that it didn't shape who I am today. It's about acknowledging my journey—the highs, the lows, and everything in between. I'm still learning to accept all parts of me. It's a journey of embracing my past while not letting it define my future with courage and resilience.
Becoming sober was hands down the best decision I ever made. I'm talking life-changing and never-looking-back kind of decision. If I hadn't quit drinking at 23, I wouldn't be where I am today—married, raising two amazing kids and living this perfectly imperfect life. And yeah, I still have those moments where I would love to have a drink or wish I could try the newest spiked seltzer flavor. But you know what? I've learned to shut down those thoughts real quick. With some serious self-talk and support, I've embraced the sober life . So if you're doubting whether sobriety is worth it, let me tell you: it's fucking worth it. Don't let anyone or anything hold you back from living your best damn life.